Princess's Knight

Do you still remember that there's a song by Jolin which is called "Knight's Spirit 骑士精神"

There's a phrase saying:

我不要王子苦苦守候的故事 梦幻不实我不希望你是王子

因为瑰丽童话结局为战而死 故事开端结局会因你而真实

Do you know why she don't want her love one is a prince

I think I just realise the answer.....

Because a prince will never bow down and serve another girl like a princess even though that girl IS REALLY a princess, do you understand me?

A prince will remain as a prince and he'll keep his pride and his arrogant with him as long as he's living.

But every girl wish to be treat as a princess when she's in love so that she'll feel the unique status in one's heart.

So, a prince will never treat a girl like princess, he'll just remain gentlemen, unlike a knight, who will treat a girl as a princess, a jewel, with all of his heart, he'll do anything he can to fulfill a girl's wish!

That's why Jolin prefer knight more than prince.

What do you think???

In real life, there's real example which a guy really treat his gf as princess! I saw it with my own eyes!!!

He's willing to spend every ringgit on her, even though he knows that after that, he'll be eating breads or maggie mee for days.

Besides, he'll listen and pay full attention on what she say.

She doesn't like him to smoke, so, when she's around, he never smoke!!! Really amazing because I wonder how he manage to kill all the urge to smoke cos he's kinda addicted to it.

The girl will go a bit moody and maybe, angry if she's hungry, so, he'll do whatever he can just to make her happy, including making food order earlier when she's not yet arrive so that when she arrives, she have something to eat!

How considerable!!!

If only Bun have 50% of his consideration and attention on me...

I know I shouldn't apply this guy's attitude treating his gf like princess on Bun, but whenever I see how he treat her, I felt that I deserve to be treated like this too!

I often told myself not to compare as these things exist naturally, but still I am envy. LOL! Complicated emotions.

But I guess things are way off different once 'gf' status change to 'wife'. It's like from princess degrade to normal citizen!!! And your husband's status will change from 'knight' to 'prince'! WTF!!!!

As a gf, you never need to wait, never need to carry anything, never need to raise your voice, never need to queue, never need to do house chores, never need to look at bf and do things according to his mood, never need to feel guilty to shop etc etc etc..... There's a long long list of gf never need to....

But once you're a wife, you have to do all the things stated above. How sad....

Plus, your husband will never pay attention on you like how he did last time... Double impact of sadness!!!

That's why I always tell my friend: Don't ever get married if you don't have to! There'll be no actual benefit if you get married... Things will get more serious than ever and you can't really escape from the reality if you want to.

Nowadays, I'm trying to gain more attention from my hubby as I found life is kinda dull for two of us.

I actually do make-ups whenever there's outing and dress nicely. I'm feeling like a princess again whenever I do these things. I felt that I cheer myself up!

But I wonder how Bun's feeling because I never ask him about these... The same goes to I never complaint to him how I feel he's not paying attention on me.

Oh WAIT! I actually complaint few times!!!

Whenever he's on computer games, he can't hear a word I say even though he's not wearing any headphone or worst, didn't turn on the game volume.

His whole spirit just seems like sucked into the computer game! He give no response to whatever I say!!! How pathetic I am!!!

I told him this, but he denied it. He said that I wasn't telling him things properly. And he promised that he'll give me response whenever I tell him something. But you know, the same thing happens again...

So, I gave up! I gave up to talk to him whenever he's on computer game because I know, he won't pay any attention on me.

I'm less worthy than a computer game. FML!!!

I wonder does all this relate to the times of being in relationship?

I really do think that if you've been in relationship for times, you'll learn how to treat your partner in the best way.

Experience is definitely NEEDED when it comes to bf-gf relationship.

Just like games playing! The more you play, the more experience you gain, the higher level you are!

If not, you're just a NOOB!!!

And yeah, I got myself a NOOB ex-bf a.k.a present husband! LOL!!!!! CHAM AR!!!!!!

How I wish that he can learn from the 'knight' guy so that he will treat me as a princess all over again!!!

But I will only put around 5% of hope in this because I know 95% he'll still remain the same. The same old Bun I know all along...

A not-so-gentlemen, not-so-considerate, not-so-paying-attention-on-me, the same old Bun...

Honesty Hurts

At this very moment, I was really upset and emo because of what had just happened.

I'll skip the part of what had just happened because it's kinda private, I'll keep it to myself.

But I realise that I still got a long way to go, a lot to learn in becoming somebody's wife, mother and soul mate.

And the suckest part is, I'm not sure whether am I learning now to be a qualify wife/mother/soul mate or still I am the one who wanna be who she wanna be and that's it!

I remember precisely a phrase written by a person: We get through exams to become what we aiming to be in this society, but we never learn how to become a good parents and didn't sit exam for it. We just become one, and use the wrong method to educate our next generation.

I find the above saying is very truthful, and this saying also can be apply to becoming a soul mate.

We never sit through exam to see whether we're qualified to become somebody's somebody. Sometimes we use feel, sometimes it just happens naturally and we're naturally somebody's somebody.

Because we didn't put in time, money and effort in become somebody's somebody, sometimes we take advantage on that person. And sometimes sad things just happen and we start to blame each other for those sad incidents.

And sometimes, when we have something to say, we just couldn't say it because we knew it will hurt. But at the same time, if we keep it to ourselves, our heart will feel a bit uncomfortable and slowly, things get worse.

But I've said what I want to say, today, not long ago.

I find myself feel release for saying things that been going through my mind all the time but at the same time, I feel down for hurting someone that loves me so, so much.

I wonder is there any method that I can be honest, but at the same time the person I love or loves me doesn't get hurt or have any hard feelings on what I've told him/her.

I don't feel guilty because I'm being honest, I say things because I see it that way and I want the person to know how I feel and see clearly what's going on but I feel down for hurting people.

There's no perfect way to make things beautiful right? Sighs...

I've go through books that teaches people in communicating the right way or seeing the positive side of your soul mate, but when things happen, all these are really just bullshit to me.

The situation is much more harder to handle, including my emotions, my tone, my usage of words and my gestures.

I wish that some people in this world can invent something that showing our feelings and opinions without saying a word to that person. Something like sonar radar or micro wave that can make some wave and send it to the brain.

Communicating is not a one way thingy. The other person needs to bear some responsibility too.

When he's not taking the responsibility, this really winds up my anger and I tend to become more angry and more hurtful words coming out from my mouth.

Sometimes I find it hard to communicate with him as I feel that he's not at the same level as mine.

And when this shit happens, I find it that I always blame myself: Why I choose to marry him? Why didn't I search for someone who is at the same level like me so that we can communicate with each other more efficiently.

Of course, I was just thinking, I never say these to him but I'm not sure whether he will see this or not.

But honestly, if you see what I wrote, I hope you can understand that that's just A FEELING of mine when shit happens. I still love you like I use to.

We have all the high-tech gadgets and lots of ways of communicating such as sms, mms, voice mail, pc, facebook, twitter etc etc.... But people are far more afraid to communicate with each other ever more.

We don't say our hearts out anymore, and everyone is hiding behind a mask. Hardly to find somebody who dare to show their true colors, take sincerity and responsibility as something important.

Hard to imagine how humanity will become as time goes by.

Argh!!! I should stop talking nonchalantly and go to sleep now. Nitezzz