1st on the 7th

*This is strictly GIRL'S TALK only. Guys, read at your own risk*

Oh Gosh! I knew this is going to happen, and I know there's some slight changes inside my body for these few days. I just know this will come, but I didn't expect it to be today.

I just got my menstrual cycle running normal all over again as today marks the 1st day of the arrival of menstrual fluid. No wonder I'm all in blues and moody for the past few days.

And not to mention, few pimples pop up too! I thought I was having 'bad face day' but didn't know this related to my menstrual cycle.

My feelings are a bit complicated right now. Yeah, it definitely feels weird enough to see yourself bleed after it has stop for about 15 months because of breast feeding. I'm feeling weird RIGHT NOW as if I'm having my first menstrual cycle in my life. LOL!

The last time of me seeing blood discharge from my body is during Postnatal period. After giving birth of child, there's this 3 - 6 weeks of postpartum vaginal discharge of Lochia which contains blood, mucus and placental tissues.

Honestly, the oh-so-heavy-flow of Lochia really freaked me out that time. I was somewhat afraid that I might be dying because of the heavy flow of the Lochia. I still can remember I even cried for once after seeing how heavy the flow is. Gosh, you don't wanna know how it feels like.

And now, I'm here again, starting to be a normal woman that is able to conceive again. LOL! I feel somewhat happy about it. I think every mother does. When you know that your body is allowed to have baby again, that kind of happiness feeling really warm up a mother's heart.

But the other side, I felt a lil bit insecure too. Maybe I'm still a lil bit afraid of the Lochia-thing. Or maybe that having menstrual cycle = able to conceive = pregnant = childbirth = ULTIMATE PAIN OF THE LIFE YOU CAN'T NEVER IMAGINE!

I don't wanna go through the pain all over again. Not in this near 1 or 2 years.

I'm still having trauma of childbirth I guess. Gosh~ Need time to totally recover from this traumatic experience.

Anyway, today also marks the start of spending money on sanitary napkins and washing blood-stained panties of every month. Fuck Female's Life!!!!

For your information:

What is Postnatal? Click Here!

What is Lochia? Click Here!